Why are people in this generation more commitment-averse?
1. Changed Social Expectations: The Sexual Revolution eliminated the societal expectation for couples engaged in romantic practices to marry.
2. Acceptance of Failure: Society now accepts failure and quitting without the generational stigma.
3. Influence of the Internet: The internet introduced new pressures and hindrances regarding marriage.
4. Perceived Options: Social media increased the perception of options, making decision-making harder. Research shows that more choices can lead to indecision.
5. Gender Roles in Commitment: Traditionally, men are seen as gatekeepers of commitment and marriage, while women are gatekeepers of sex.
In previous generations, romantic relationships naturally progressed to marriage. It was assumed that if a couple were together, the relationship would lead to marriage. If a pregnancy occurred, the man was encouraged to “make an honest woman out of her.” Manhood was defined by protecting and providing for a woman, making everything clear.
Life was simpler then. Dating was for marriage, courtship was involved, and the pill had not yet arrived to alter dynamics. Divorce was frowned upon, so couples knew that marriage meant a long-term commitment. They stayed together either because life was good or out of necessity. Women couldn’t have bank accounts in their names until 1974, limiting
their independence. In the golden age of marriage, an unhappy wife had few options for leaving, so she was more likely to work through grievances. Today, gender roles have changed significantly, causing confusion. Women avoid commitment when it constrains their aspirations. They may prioritize career success, building a brand, or achieving financial goals over traditional commitments.
Men, on the other hand, avoid commitment due to fear of being tied to the wrong woman and potential financial loss. However, when men find the right woman, they tend to commit quickly, understanding that commitment is necessary.
A simple prenuptial agreement can mitigate the fears of wealthy men approaching marriage. Interestingly, wealthy men overwhelmingly choose to marry, as marriage builds wealth more effectively than cohabitation.
Modern dating often lacks the assurance of commitment. Relationships now include terms like “situationships,” “Netflix & Chill,” “sneaky links,” and “friends with benefits,” all arising from the advent of casual sex. The healthiest relationships require commitment, and without it, chaos and heartbreak ensue. Despite this, many still seek the idea of “having someone special” without fully committing.
Commitment is essential for healthy relationships. The absence of a foundational promise to adhere to agreed-upon standards wreaks havoc and heartbreak. Still, many are allured by the idea of “having someone special” without fully committing. The foundation of strong, lasting relationships lies in the willingness to commit, to promise, and to build a future together. Without this, the journey becomes unstable, leading to dissatisfaction and confusion
