One of the most important aspects of parenting is “rupture and repair”; When a parent and child experience a disconnect in their relationship and mend it with reconnection. This can look like a new mother missing her newborn’s cue, such as changing a diaper rather than feeding the baby, or a father losing his temper at his teenager rather than helping his teen through their experience and feelings. Regardless of the disconnective experience that ruptures the trust and safety of the relationship, the repair is what is most important.
In keeping with the theme of giving grace this season, it is important that we give ourselves grace as parents when we mess up. A true authentic relationship is going to be imperfect and riddled with many ruptures throughout each season of parenthood. It is not the ruptures that destroy parent-child attachment, but lack of repair that affects the relationship negatively. What matters most is the repairing of the ruptures. This means taking accountability for your adult tantrums, correcting a missed cue, and apologizing to your child to ensure that they know you are a safe and trusted source when in need.
So rather than ignore the relationship ruptures, focus on repairing the rupture, and giving yourself grace as you do. We all fail at times in parenting, but it is the ability and willingness to put the effort into repairing that makes all of the difference.
