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The Dating Presentation: Think Before You Speak

We had a chance to hear from our precious friend Taylor Mosby. You may have seen her face and heard her voice in the powerfully heartwarming film Breakthrough, or watched her on Thunder Force co-staring with comedians Melissa MaCarthy and Octavia Spencer, or caught her on popular TV dramas like Grey’s Anatomy, Criminal Minds, and Snowfall, but most likely you are familiar with her role on the hit comedy series The Last O.G., where she plays the daughter of the infamous actors Tracy Morgan and Tiffany Haddish. Not only did she play a daughter on TV who had to learn the art of communication for the sake of her parents, but she also had to play that role, like, in real life too. She shared with us a cute and enlightening story about communicating with her parents about dating: As the oldest of four children and the only girl, I was my parents’ first for everything. Considering I entered the entertainment industry at the age of eight, when I say “everything”, I mean EVERYTHING! Throughout my career, I’ve had to learn how to explain my feelings to adults, and that was difficult at first because there’s almost always a gap in communication and understanding when it comes to a drastic age difference. However, I was never alone because my mom served as a second voice when I couldn’t get my point across the way I needed to. When it came to talking directly to her and my father though, only one phrase remained in my mind at all times, “Think before you speak.” That phrase meant the world to me, and I took it as seriously as possible. But that simple cliché phrase often caused me to “overthink”. For as long as I can remember, I would mentally prepare myself for conversations by imagining every possible outcome that could arise, and have an answer ready for every single one. I always want to be prepared for every scenario. This was something I practiced especially with my parents .

I always take lots of time to think before I speak because I feel like conversations can go much smoother when I don’t spring a big question or discussion topic on them. So, earlier in my teen years, my parents told me that they would allow me to date at the age of 16. It was not even a few days after my 16th birthday that I began planning how I was going to bring this discussion back up with them to remind them of what they said. For about a week I deliberated on how I was going to handle this, and I began to imagine every possible response that they could give me and strategically planned for each one. I knew they still saw me as their baby girl, so I didn’t want to just throw this sensitive topic on them as soon as I turned 16. I took the time to think about it from their perspective and realized that treading cautiously was important because I could only imagine how scary and emotional it was for my parents to release their daughter into the dating world. By the end of the week, I literally had a PowerPoint presentation that I had prepared for them to state my case. I created slides that addressed curfew options, proper outfits, possible date locations, and even listed names of different boys to see if they’d be comfortable with them. I wanted their opinion on all of it –that way we could all feel comfortable as we moved into this new chapter together. No, I do not always create PowerPoint presentations to get my point across, but in this case it was a fun way to lighten the mood on what could have been a very awkward and frustrating conversation. Instead, I was able to gather my thoughts and organize them in a way that was clear, concise, and creative, and I believe my parents appreciated that effort. Moments like that are the ways that I’ve approached nearly every important conversation in my life. Whether it’s a discussion with a friend, a family member, or a colleague, if I have the time to think and prepare before I speak, I will use every single minute to do so. In my acting career and in my real life, I have realized that words matter, and the way that they are said matters. At the end of the day, we are all humans that need and deserve time to process important information, especially our parents who have a huge responsibility to protect and guide us properly. Understanding that parents love us and want only the best for us, it is important for us to show that we have listened to and digested all of our parents’ direction and lessons over the years, especially when we feel that we are mature enough to apply those teachings as we want to venture out into new territory. Now, I am not suggesting that all parents receive a multi-slide PowerPoint presentation every time their child wants permission for something. A handwritten letter, a thoughtfully typed email, or even a bullet point text may do the trick. The point is that it is helpful to first gather your thoughts, process through your own motives and desires, and then run through every response your parents may say or every concern they may have first, and prepare solutions for those scenarios, just so that you are ready to help plead your case as effectively as possible.Thoughtful communication is EVERYTHING!

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