Our kids don’t always tell us how well we are doing as parents in specific areas, but sometimes it is helpful to know straight from them where we stand, where we can improve, and where we are winning.
“Communication with my mom is great because she takes the time to understand me. I feel heard often with her. She is not afraid to tell me when she has done something wrong or to apologize, and she does not always blame me for everything. I feel like she is very fair. I would actually love to have even better communication with my mom, but its almost impossible because she is constantly working, so I can only call or text her. I really only can see her just before I am ready to sleep or on the weekends. I just wish she was home more. I have a relationship with my dad, but he doesn’t live close, so it’s not the best communication. I want to have better talks with him, but its hard when he is not really that involved. We mostly argue when we see each other, but when we are able to bond, I genuinely love it. I have become okay with not having great communication with my dad, but better communication with my mom is very important to me. If she was home more, or made more of an effort to spend quality time with me, I would really appreciate that.” -Male, 14
“Communication with my parents is important. I am a lot closer to my mom than my dad, mostly because she takes interest in what I like. I love that I’m able to tell my parents things without being judged or looked upon differently. What bothers me the most is my dad’s thought process when a problem or challenge comes up with me. During the pandemic, I was in a depressed state of mind and was overwhelmed with work and school. But instead of trying to talk to me, my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me to a therapist. I wish he spent more time getting to know me. My mom spends more time talking to me, and I like that a lot.” -Male, 13
“I feel like I can talk to my parents about most things, but I think that if I share with them something I did wrong, they immediately become angry instead of trying to understand me or the situation. That hinders my communication with them because I limit what I say to them. I wish they would listen more instead of lecture me or try to find a life lesson in every conversation I have with them. It’s important to me that I can tell my parents anything without being judged.” -Male, 17
“I love being able to talk with my mom, when she is reasonable. Most times though, she doesn’t listen to my whole story without interrupting me or without getting on her phone. I hate that because she gets mad at me if I interrupt her or says I am disrespectful if I use my phone in the middle of a conversation. I don’t like feeling like things are not fair. It makes me feel like I am disrespected, and she has double standards.” – Male, 16
“Personally, I feel lucky to have good conversations with my parents –most of the time. I love that I can tell my parents almost anything, such as how I’m feeling on a certain day or if I’m dealing with any problems. I even enjoy gossiping with my parents and sharing my true emotions with them –most of the time. Sometimes, being honest with my parents, or just talking in general, can lead to harsh responses from them that later turn into arguments. For example, I could be having a conversation with my mom about how I feel pressured to maintain good grades, then the next thing I know, she is lecturing me and sometimes starts to compare me to my siblings, even though I try my hardest. I think that parents should refrain from allowing conversations to turn into arguments when their kids just want to talk and share their struggles. Sometimes, my parents tell me that they feel like I don’t talk to them as much or that I’m keeping something from them; when in reality, I feel like I can’t truly tell them what’s going on in my life because I feel like I would be judged by them. I wish that my parents would listen to what I have to say and try to put themselves in my position when I have a problem. From what I know, my parents haven’t experienced the same challenges as me because they don’t share stories with me, so I don’t think it’s easy for them to understand what I go through at times. Maybe if they shared their struggles with me, I would feel like we can relate to one another and be closer. I think that if we both really listen and try to understand each other, this can improve our communication skills.” -Female, 14
“Communication is for sure easier with my dad because he tries to relate to me more. I wish my mom would take my feelings and opinions into consideration more so that it would be easier to want to share things with her. I do like that I can be myself with both of my parents and they accept me. I am comfortable with them, but I want to be able to feel free to be honest and express myself more.” -Female, 15
“I feel like my mom only listens to me when she wants to, which is almost never. She always thinks her opinion is right and doesn’t care about mine, and she can rarely ask me to do something without yelling. It is even more frustrating when I share with her how I feel and ask her to try to deal with me differently, and she still ignores me and never changes. I just hate how mad she always is at me, and how I can never, ever satisfy her enough to get her to talk calmly to me. It is so hypocritical to me because I watch my mom often walk away in the middle of a fight with my dad so that she can “calm down”, but she calls me disrespectful and yells at me when I try to walk away to calm down when we are fighting. Also, it would be much more helpful if she explained things to me when I ask questions, instead of just telling me to do things and then saying “because I said” or “because I am the mom.” -Female, 15
“My mom and I can literally talk about anything at all. She is like my best friend. She even hangs out with my friends and shares her personal experiences with me, which makes me comfortable to share my stories with her too. My dad tries to connect with me, but he always tries to teach me life lessons and doesn’t really try to understand my daily situations. Also, the topics he wants to talk about are not interesting to me. I think that stops us from getting close, and he doesn’t realize that.” -Female, 14
