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Fear of Growing Up

As a child I can remember facing a fear of big dogs after being attacked by a pit-bull when I was young. I simply tried petting it out of curiosity, and it viciously attacked me. I was always trying to be independent, and that day I ventured off into a yard alone and saw what I thought was a cute puppy. What I didn’t realize was that the dog had just come from a place where it was being abused by teens. Asking for permission to play in the yard and pet the dog could have possibly avoided my fate of that brutal attack and the four facial surgeries and recovery that followed as a result. But, I petted the dog without permission. The dog simply assumed I was one of the kids that abused him the way he was used to, and he attacked me to defend himself. I then built up a fear that all dogs were mean and would attack me no matter what. However, some of my family members and neighbors had dogs of all kinds, so I had to overcome my fear to function in the environment that I lived in. I remember finally allowing my mom to buy me a dog so that I could conquer that fear. It wasn’t the biggest dog, like the one that attacked me, but it was a start to become more comfortable with being around dogs again. It was difficult at first to adjust, but eventually I learned how to adapt to being around dogs. I learned when to mess with them and when to keep my distance. That fear was only overcome by facing it head on and learning from my mistakes.

As a teenager, my fears transitioned more towards social settings, such as making new friends and presenting in front of the class. These fears came from the intimidation of stepping out of my comfort zone and not wanting to meet new people or try to talk to them for fear that they may judge me or think I am weird. What I came to realize was that I am not always going to be liked by everyone and have things in common with them. However, I now see the importance of at least trying to connect with others because I developed some of the closest friendships with the greatest people when I least expected it after choosing to get to know them. When I realized that not everyone would click with me, and it was okay to move on and connect with the ones that do, I made a bunch of new friends and it became easier to step outside of my comfort zone.

As teenagers, many of us are anxious for the day when we can graduate high school and finally have freedom to make our own decisions and live our own life without so many limitations and restrictions. I remember several of my high school days wishing that I had more independence and fewer constraints. However, at 19 years old, there are new fears that I now find myself facing. Anxiety often creeps in to try to cripple me with the fear of the unknown. I am realizing all of the obligations that are ahead of me and the reality of responsibilities are setting in quickly. I know that many adults face various anxieties from all angles, but as a young adult I am unsure of what I will face or if I will be prepared. Questions often plague my mind regarding my future. What job will I secure? How much money do I need to make? What bills can I afford at this time? What is my overall purpose? I look forward to being a husband and a father one day, but also realize the responsibilities that will accompany those titles. In my past, as a child and a teen, I conquered my fears with God’s help by facing them head on, boldly, and with the counsel of those around me that I trust and love. It has served me well in the past to forcibly face my fears, and looking back, I am very pleased with the results of my decisions to be courageous and fearless in approaching new things that may intimidate me. This season in my life is no different, and I trust that as I step out in faith and remain accountable to those who love me and are looking out for me, I will end up with favorable results and achieve the success I am headed for.

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