From the inception of my ability to comprehend what life entailed, I knew I wanted to be a Father. You see, I myself grew up in a home devoid of a Father and I wanted to rectify what I perceived as an injustice by insuring I’d be ready when God bestowed the gift of Fatherhood upon me. My thought process was predicated on the idea that I just needed to be present. I was under the misconception that my presence alone would suffice, and my naïveté allowed me to believe this would be an easy task. Never did I stop to consider that my past transgressions and unresolved emotional issues could serve as a hindrance in my parenting skills. Not once did it dawn on me that my kids would exemplify the same undesirable attributes that I attempted to repress because I was bound by shame. Whether it was seeking external validation or lamenting at the top of my lungs how unfair life is.
These were recurring themes that would emerge in an array of ways within each of my children. Ultimately, I knew I couldn’t help them unless I was completely transparent. It was imperative that they recognized that I too am mired by a litany of imperfections. John 8:32 teaches us that “then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free. With that in mind, I had to sit my kids down and tell them of my trials and tribulations. Letting them know how I’d been arrested for shoplifting as a teen or beat up by police for being defiant in moments when most would’ve complied. How I struggled with pornography, infidelity and alcohol. When they questioned why would I succumb to all of these, things, I alluded to the text from Jeremiah 17:9 which states, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? This served as the springboard for more profound dialogue amongst us and proved to be invaluable in our bonding. These conversations highlighted the ways sin enters our lives and how the flesh is at the crux of it all. As followers of Christ, we must stay in the word and understand the plight we face. By being real with ourselves, we can be the mentors our children deserve and equip them with the knowledge necessary to allow the spirit to supplant the flesh.
