Do you remember a time in your life when you experienced the thrill of something new: a new relationship, a new job, a new home, a new atmosphere. There are so many exhilarations that can come from embracing change, so why do life transitions often seem so challenging at first? Perhaps because they force us to release what is familiar and face the future, while also experiencing vulnerability. Often transitions in life are initiated with a series of losses, such as the loss of a person, a familiar place, a specific role, or the loss of confidence in your purpose. Anxiety and fear often accompany momentous losses. Instability may be upon you, and it is normal to experience fear when uncertainty arises. In the current culture that we live in, it seems to be our default to lean towards the negative when our lives are disrupted.
Take Covid-19 for example. When the world was issued a mandated stay-at-home order, many people chose to sing songs about being “bored in the house, bored in the house, bored” and focus on the frustrations of being “stuck in the house”. When just a week prior to that order, those same people would have counted it as a huge blessing if their bosses told them that they could work from home with full pay for the next few months, binge watch Netflix all day, have their groceries and necessities delivered to their doorstep, and have a break from dealing with people for a period of time. If we were to focus on the positive side of transitions, we would realize that they give us a chance to better understand our strengths and explore what we actually desire from life. That time of reflection can result in a sense of rejuvenation, direction, stability, and clarity.
Life transitions come in different packages, and not all of them have to be negative. Some are planned in detail, and others are completely unexpected. Unexpected deaths, unintentional accidents, a separation, A divorce, A loss of a position or occupation, or a terminal diagnosis may all happen without warning and cause severe anxiety, fear, and stress. But other transitions are accompanied by hope and excitement, such as meeting a new love, getting engaged, being married, becoming a new parent, going away to college, retiring, or moving to a new location. Although the positive transitions usually allow time for preparation and planning, they can be just as impactful and life altering as unplanned, shocking experiences that force pivoting and transitioning. Regardless of the caliber of impact on our lives in a positive or a negative way, transitions force us to abandon what is familiar and comfortable and adapt to new environments, opportunities, and ways of life. These changes may leave us feeling isolated, fearful of the unknown, and utterly unprepared for how to plan for and cope with what is unfamiliar, thrusting us into panic, anxiety, and even depression.
There are many stages to transitioning, and successfully moving through those stages may incorporate experiencing a range of negative feelings such as anger, confusion, numbness, self-doubt, or loss of self-esteem. It is important to do whatever is necessary to push yourself towards the goal to accept the change at hand; acknowledge what you are feeling, but understand that the past needs to be released and the future possibilities must be embraced. Do the best you possibly can to lean on hope, and develop an optimistic perspective of the beauty that may lie ahead in the future –because of or in spite of –these new changes.
