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Supporting Meaningful Connection & Emphasizing Gratitude

As we enter the season of thankfulness, we start to focus on asking children what they are grateful for and at times that question is met with the response, “I don’t know.” So how do we teach our kids to be grateful for their blessings and model gratitude, while simultaneously forming connections with our children? A great activity that was modeled to me as a child is to ask your child each night what their high (best part) of the day and low (worst part) of the day was, and name one thing that they were grateful for that day. The goal is to connect with your child in a way that builds communication and to spend a few moments of the day recalling something positive. Asking most children, “How was your day?” is typically met with a one-word answer, such as “good.” By asking your child what the high and low of the day was, you can get very specific/important details of their day and possibly learn about things that you were unaware of.

For example, my thirteen-year-old has explained to me lows she has had such as, an argument with her best friend or two girls in her class being mean to her. Had I not asked for both the good and the bad, I may not have realized the struggles she was having on those specific days or during those weeks. These answers led to longer conversations and helped foster a deeper emotional connection between us during the tween/early teen years. When we ask our children about the high of their day, we are reminding them to find something good in even the worst of days. When we follow up with asking our children to share one thing that they are grateful for each day, it fosters the ability to find gratitude in each day. Both skills – looking for the positives and finding something to be grateful for – are valuable skills to learn and carry with you into adulthood. Rather than only looking for positives during the holiday season, we should be looking for them daily. Making this simple activity part of your day- to-day routine, you can help build stronger connections with your children and teach them to have an “attitude of gratitude” year round.

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