How do boys transition and develop into strong men? Now, that’s an important question. I’m sure that if you asked 100 hundred people that same question, you would get 100 hundred different answers. It has taken me many years to find a simple answer to that complex question. The truth is that boys become strong men intentionally, on purpose, and with support from the community, along with nurturing from both the masculine and feminine influences in his life. Growing up, I used to say “I can’t wait to be a man; I’m going to do this and that when I finally become a man.” However, I always wondered how do you truly become a man, when do you become a man, and what does it take to develop into manhood? Transitioning into a man has been a lifelong journey for me and most of the men I know. It is believed that girls naturally transition into women, but boys only transition into men intentionally with guided mentorship and purposeful living.
In earlier times, a young boy would be taken away from his mother to live with wise, strong men in an effort to sever the nourishment being provided by his mother and in order to transition him into manhood. This was done purposefully to help the boy develop his own identity and avoid relying on a feminine source to acquire masculinity. My Mom, being a single parent, had to be both feminine and masculine to raise me. I can clearly see how I developed some of my masculinity from a feminine point of view. So many young men grow up like I did with a strong intelligent mom playing both roles in the house.
In the past, through guided mentorship from strong wise men, the boy would find his place and purpose in life as a man. The goal was for the men to show the boy the difference from being a boy to transitioning into a man. This was a process that other boys couldn’t lead him through and women could not instruct him on. It was something only other men could guide the boy through.
One of the hardest things in the world to do is to transition from a boy into manhood. To all the single moms raising young boys by yourself, I want to salute and commend you for doing the work of two, but it is time for the men in our communities to stand up and come together to help raise our boys. It takes a village to raise a strong man, and it will take women and men working together to save our communities. The goal is not to emasculate boys, but to empower them to become strong, healthy men.
Some things women can do to help the transition process for boys to develop into men and jump start his masculine energy are as follows:
- Give him opportunities to lead.
- Let him take charge when shopping.
- Encourage him to come up with plans.
- Ask his opinion on a subject.
- Challenge him to solve problems.
- Get him to add value to the household.
- Encourage him to earn money.
- Have him manage a small project.
- Encourage him to get involved in a physical activity.
- Teach him to open doors for women.
Men will need to take extra effort to support the transition from boys to men. Some things men can do to help the transition process from boys into men are as follows:
- Be supportive in extra curricular activities.
- Take time to workout or study together.
- Create special days and times to hang out.
- Teach or support financial literacy and entrepreneurship.
- Create an opportunity for the boy to overcome obstacles and challenges.
Men and women need to be aware when a boy is transitioning into manhood and recognize it can be complex. It will require patience and leadership to guide these young men. Remember it will not be easy, but it will be worth it.