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Fear We Go Again!: Overcoming Anxiety

You’ve probably seen the memes about how 2020 was the “longest two years” in the history of one calendar year. Honestly, there’s just as much truth in those memes as there is humor. These last two years have seemed to merge together, putting a hard pause on our normal life routine since March of 2020. Although many areas of our everyday lives have slowly resumed, there is still an unsettled airiness lingering as a result of Covid-19 and all that has accompanied this global pandemic. I have heard the words “mental health” more in the past year than ever before in my life, I’ve actually had my own personal run-in with the reality of anxiety.

I have had my fair share of struggles with anxiety pre-pandemic. but post-pandemic anxiety doesn’t compare with anything I’ve ever experienced. Before the pandemic even hit, I was already prone to agonizing over things that had not yet happened, overthinking things that probably would never happen, and attempting to prepare for the worst case scenario on a regular basis. I recently realized that I have maxed out my worry card. If I want to function at all and have any quality of life, I don’t have room for additional fear and anxiety in my daily routine. In this season, fear and anxiety can literally paralyze me and snuff the life right out of me. They have already tried (and have unfortunately already succeeded for some people around me). I have learned that I am not the only one who spent hundreds of dollars in 2020 stocking up on canned goods that are now about to expire and go to waste or who purchased an excessive amount of survival utilities on Amazon to prepare for any scenario that my overly creative mind could conjure. (I have enough latex gloves, surgical masks, and Lysol wipes to start my own PPE and sanitation distribution company.)

In spite of it all, I can honestly say that I am proud of myself because, after decades of worrying and fearing the worst, I have now grown leaps and bounds in the areas of letting go and trusting God. I am able to accomplish and experience so much more when fear is not part of my decisions. How have I been able to do this? I finally understand the difference between: Proceeding with Caution versus Proceeding with Fear.

MORE ABOUT FEAR

I have learned that my relationship with fear is an abusive one. Fear constantly antagonizes me, beats me to my knees, holds me in a headlock, injects me with a paralyzing poison, and kicks me while I am down. Yes, it’s often that serious.

Fear is a trait that we find connected ultimately to pain and death. There is an equation that rings true on almost every account: Fear – Death = Fun. This implies that if jumping from airplanes, diving off cliffs, swimming with sharks, and traveling to see relatives in the midst of a global pandemic could be assured with a guarantee that none of those activities would result in either death or pain, then all that would be left would be the fun of the exhilarating experience. If we boil down fear to its core, I believe we’ll find that fear is ultimately the internal panic of the idea that our life will end short, our bodies will feel a physical discomfort, and all that we have labored for will have been in vain. This idea dictates our regular impulses on a daily basis—from what we consume in our bodies, to where we decide to go or not to go.

We can’t completely avoid fear in this lifetime, so our ultimate goal should be to work toward understanding our fears so that they can no longer dictate our actions or control us. The basis of most fears may arguably be a derivative of simple ignorance. For example, being afraid of the dark is not actually a fear of the dark at all; it’s the fear of not knowing what is present with you in that darkness. When we lack the full knowledge of what we are afraid of, our minds are left to create the worst possibilities (most of which will never happen).

Fear is an expected manifestation in this natural life. It would not be practical or even beneficial to forsake it entirely. It is fair to say that some fear is actually necessary for our growth and for our safety, as long as it does not govern our actions and decisions or hinder our quality of life. Often, the reaction of having fear is more drastic than the actual consequence of that fear playing out in reality. Fear makes what we are afraid of even more scary. The challenge (and possibly the definition of courage) is to live beyond the limitations of that fear and move forward with valor and faith in spite of those restrictions.

MORE ABOUT CAUTION

Caution, on the other hand, is a lot more gentle and considerate of our mental and physical health. Caution simply reminds us to take a long pause, think through the current situation, determine our options, assess our surroundings, and understand the potential risks. It then allows us to move forward. This part is key: fear paralyzes; caution prepares us for the next step forward. Caution allows us to slow down rather than come to a complete halt altogether. Some fear can exist inside caution for the purpose of bringing attention to potential harm or danger that may threaten our survival. I like to call this “cautioning fear.” This type of fear aids us in making decisions that will allow us to remain in our physical bodies a little longer so that we can continue to fulfill our earthly purpose. Cautioning fear is helpful and required in order for us to avoid living recklessly.

When I was a new driver in my teenage years, I remember my very animated Italian daddy being silly and telling me about the traffic light signals. “Green means ju have paahmishion tah go. Red means ju ahh requi-yad tah come tah ah complete stop. Yellow means ju ah cautioned ta slow down—unless, yah from Boston, and then, yellow actually means speed up so ju can beat tha red light because Bostonians have noooooooh patience.”

Let’s consider courage, fear, and caution similar to traffic signals that help us enjoy the journey around the map of life as safely as possible. Green is the courage, faith, and freedom that permit us to proceed through life. Yellow is the caution that signals us to slow down, look both ways, and assess our surroundings before making any sudden, definitive moves. Red is the fear that freezes us in an immobilizing position and hinders us from moving forward in any direction at all.

These roads on our life map are meant to be traveled—not parked on. If in 2021 we found ourselves figuratively sitting at a stop light for an excessive amount of time, then 2022 may be the time to turn that solid red light into—at least—a blinking red light. We can stop for a while, but traffic lights were never meant to stay red, and even when they are broken, they at least blink red to make us aware of the potential threat around us. Yet, they still encourage us to move along. Let’s make a decision in 2022 to allow more yellow lights on the paths that we travel, over the typical red lights that we tend to freeze at in our comfort zone.

The more green lights that we allow ourselves to drive through, the more confident we will become on our journey as we realize that the roads are not as dangerous as we made them out to be in our minds, so we can enjoy the ride, soak in the beautiful scenery, and feel alive with the wind in our hair and the sun on our skin. Stop creating your own red lights; take your car out of park, and start moving forward freely and without fear.

Proceed With Caution!

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