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Creatively Catastrophizing

Overestimating the consequences and results of our worst fears is one of the most common reactions to uncertain situations. For whatever reason, our minds often interpret uncertainty as danger; a failed test equals a college drop out, a typo turns into being fired, a miscommunication leads to divorce, a misinterpreted text results in a terminated friendship, etc. It is not wise to grab your personal essentials and automatically evacuate your home based on the sounding alarm of a smoke detector without exploring the options first.

Is the house actually on fire with actual evidence of smoke and visible flames, causing a threat to yourself, your family, or your home …or is it just the roast that you left in the oven for a little too long? Maybe it is a faulty unit that is creating a false alarm and there is no actual danger at all. Making a hasty decision to evacuate without assessing the situation could result in damage that could have been avoided by exploring all the options first. If it was just smoke from the overcooked roast that set off the alarm, then removing it from the oven before it catches fire and opening a few doors and windows may easily prevent an actual catastrophe, while evacuating without checking the source of the problem could result in an explosion that could have been averted otherwise. Choosing to act hastily based on overthinking the worst possibility of a situation can cause unnecessary panic and unintended damage that could be avoided. But understanding this truth is easier than acting on it when one is a master over thinker.

There was a study done last year that proved that gratitude and fear cannot exist in the same brain. So, when anxious thoughts come, counter it with thanksgiving. “What if someone gets sick and dies in my family” is countered with “I am so grateful that my daughter and son have not gotten sick in two years and that they are healthy.”

When you look back on the areas of anxiety that you have struggled with in the past, you will most likely realize that not even a fraction of your worst fears have ever even played out into reality. All of that time wasted on worrying has robbed you of joy you could have been experiencing, memories you could have been making, and opportunities that you could have taken advantage of. Do not risk any more regrets or limitations. Choose to walk by faith in the midst of fear, and remember that faith, without putting in any work to take action to be better in areas in which you struggle, results in death of opportunity, freedom, and reward.

So…how can we reverse habitual catastrophizing?

Play the “Worst Case Scenario” game. It is fun to watch Randal and Beth Pearson on the Emmy Award winning TV series, This Is Us, play “Worst Case Scenario” together, as they help each other battle their personal anxieties by confessing their worst fears in overwhelming situations. Oftentimes, they realize how silly their worst case scenario sounds when actually spoken aloud and how unlikely their scenario is to become a reality; they then both have a good laugh that soothes their worries. Other times, they acknowledge each other’s worst fears and counter them with encouragement. Both circumstances prove to be great therapy for the two of them, as they navigate through life together. Almost every time they play the game, they realize that even their worst possible situation would still be manageable.

Allow yourself the opportunities for experiences, and then learn from them. The only remedies for overthinking and catastrophizing are confidence, courage, and faith. All of which are strengthened through both time and experience. Recognize that you do not need an exemption from your current trial or struggle, but rather hard evidence that your circumstance is created for you to not only go through and endure, but also overcome and conquer victoriously –making you stronger and more equipped to handle the next rattling obstacle that life throws your way.

Play out the best possible result. This is basically playing “Worst Case Scenario” in reverse, making the best possible outcome be just as dramatic and exaggerated as the worst case situation that you so creatively fabricated in your overactive mind. Doing so may help bring to light the reality that both of your generated circumstances are two outrageous extremes that are unlikely to occur, and the reality of the story’s ending is more likely somewhere in the tolerable middle of both.

Recognize that there really are 50 shades of gray. Choose one of those, rather than limiting yourself to just black or white. Not everything is actually black and white as assumed or inferred. Overthinking often accentuates the black over the white, putting a grim damper on perspectives. The sweet spot and safe space is blending the black and white palette to make various shades of gray that you can live with, without hiding in the dark, dull places of catastrophizing.

Focus on “whatsoever things are true.” Make it a point to stop saying or even thinking “what if…” or “what about…” and consider thinking of “WHAT IS” instead of thinking of “WHAT IF”. Whatever things are true, just, lovely, and of a good report…think ONLY on these things. Overthinking is usually based on fear over actual facts. So, think about what is actually TRUE and present. Yes, if the world blows up, I may die –but right now, in this present moment, I am safe. Yes, if drought continues, food may be scarce one day –but today I am fed, and my family has food to eat. Remember, fears are not facts!

Get out of the time machine. Most of the catastrophes that we create are projected in the future –where we do not live nor do we control. So, stop time traveling, and be present. Mentally transporting yourself into tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year will not solve the current issues of today, and it will often strip you of the joys and blessings of right now.

“New Year, New Me. NOPE! New Year, Still Me” by Dr. Jason Plunkett PsyD:

Statistics show that most New Year’s resolutions do not make it past the first two full months of the year. I propose that this can be attributed to a level of focus that people put on aspects of themselves that they dislike rather than areas that they actually love about themselves. This is an extremely ineffective way to kick off a New Year. At the start of the New Year, chants could be heard and posts could be read that boldly proclaimed “New Year, New Me”, and I believe people were sincere in their intentions to “change”. However, declaring such a bold plan to completely change the entirety of the person that you have built and developed over decades of time is an unreasonable and unfair expectation to place on yourself. I want to suggest that you do not need a “new you” at all. You are enough (repeat after me…”I AM ENOUGH!”), and there are incredible qualities about you that would be a shame to abandon. There is no need to start over entirely and recreate who you already are. I am big on exchanging the word “change” for the word “grow” when referring to personal development. Change is of course inevitable in a plethora of circumstances. However, We may need to grow in various areas in our lives in order to gradually become the better version of the humans that we were ultimately created to be, and that may mean that we must change some things about ourselves, and not necessarily change our entire selves.

As imperfectly beautiful humans, we must first learn to fall in love with the beauty of who we are and all that we have accomplished and become, and then identify the areas in our lives where we can improve and the areas where we can add additional value. That process is much more graceful, more attainable, and more practical than the unreasonable demand of implementing such a huge responsibility of change in such a short period of time. Consider adopting the phrase “New Year, Improved Me” and focus on upgrading who you currently are to a more efficient, better focused, version of you: You 2.2 in 2022. Do this with the heart to want to grow, become more mindful, develop more self-awareness, and be better in the areas that you want to enhance. I am not suggesting that you completely obliterate the goals that you originally set for this New Year, but rather use them as only a guideline to areas of growth that can be enhanced throughout the year. I recommend first taking some time to identify the areas in your life that you feel need to be further developed and areas where growth is needed. Be as completely vulnerable as possible in this exercise. Vulnerability is key in progressive growth. You can only begin to work towards growth once the true identity of the areas of concern are properly identified and targeted. Consider using the following five steps to being more self-aware:

1 . Define Identity. Do this to the best of your ability. This definition should be determined by your perspective only and not influenced by the opinions or perspectives of how others may see or define you.
2 . Pros and Cons. Create a list of your personal pros and cons. These can be areas that others have affirmed or expressed concerns, or areas that are your strengths and weaknesses (areas of growth).
3 . Accomplishments. Create a second list identifying areas that you are personally proud of, as well as areas that you agree are in need of growth and positive development.
4 . Accountability. Secure accountability through setting S.M.A.R.T goals. This means that your goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (set with a deadline).
5 . Celebration. Create a third list highlighting ten things that you love most about your current self. At the end of that list, compose a note on a way that you can celebrate yourself for those great things throughout the year as you are growing in other areas that may need improvement.

Be kind to yourself. Create a schedule. Set small goals. Celebrate your wins. You really are worth it.

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