When I think of the word “deflection”, I automatically get the visual in my mind of an Ostrich with his head in the ground trying to hide, and I must add that I’ve been there many times before. When I find myself deflecting a situation, it’s usually because of the fear of actually facing it. But why? Alongside fear come feelings of shame, embarrassment, and failure. No one wants to experience these emotions, so it’s natural to want to deflect and shift the focus away from that discomfort.
I’m known as pro wrestler ‘Keta Rush’ on ABC’s WOW Superheroes, and recently, I experienced feelings of deep shame and embarrassment after a performance in the ring, which made me reluctant to make eye contact with anyone from the cast or production. In fact, I snuck out after my performance. That night, I couldn’t sleep as my mishap in the ring replayed in my mind over and over; it was terrible. I wanted to deflect from what had happened, but I just couldn’t.
The next day, a girlfriend called to share a story and asked how I was doing. My vulnerable self responded honestly: “I’m terrible. I messed up so badly last night. I literally want to hide in a cave for a month!” She then asked, “When’s your next match?” I fearfully replied, “Tonight.” What she said next was a game changer. She said, “Well, at least you have the chance to face it and move on. If you had more days to dwell on it, you’d just get in your own way. So walk in with your head held high and do better tonight. Think about what could go wrong and how you’d handle it, so you’re prepared—just in case.”
That truly resonated with me. I believe that the solution to dealing with uncomfortable situations is not to deflect, but to confront them with a solid plan. So, if you find yourself in a situation or obstacle that you really don’t want to confront, take a moment to sit with it, even if it is uncomfortable. Try asking yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen?” Breath it in. Then exhale all that could possibly go wrong and then set a plan to attack it head on, and find a resolution.
Be brave. I did, and It worked.
