As my wedding anniversary approaches, I am sitting here thinking about the vows I made on my wedding day. I want to ask all my married couples, are you honoring and upholding your vows or was that just a customary element of your wedding? Before your wedding, did you and your fiancé talk about what you expected from marriage, how you saw the marriage life, etc.? I would argue that most married couples go day-after-day without putting much thought (if any) to the vows they made to their spouse. What would happen if you decided to actively recall your vows daily and made your best effort to uphold them? What if you genuinely WORKED (not just “tried”) to have a successful marriage? The issue here is that many married couples prioritize other relationships over their own marriage by focusing more on performing well at work, in church, or even when arranging vacations. They frequently overlook the upkeep and improvement of their own marriages. The marriage starts to fall apart as the years pass; the next thing you know, instead of being soul mates, you are roommates, or even worse, cellmates. If you work to uphold your vows, then you can better escape the road to a miserable and unsatisfying marriage. This implies that you should treat your marriage seriously and prioritize your spouse’s well being. You must keep an eye on how you act and behave toward your spouse, and you must make an effort to talk about any concerns or difficulties that arise so that you may find a speedy resolution rather than putting them off for weeks, months, years or just ignoring them all together. Prioritizing marriage is the key. What does that mean and how do we do it? You must be dedicated to your marriage, your partner, and your union. You must be dedicated to constantly keeping an eye on your relationship, caring for your partner’s needs, maintaining self-control, and working towards a successful marriage. It will need work from the husband and wife for their marriage to be happy; it won’t just happen. Years of observing marriages, including my own, have led me to the conclusion
that most couples are not actively and consciously working to create happy relationships. Most people spend their days working at their jobs, running their business, taking care of their children, and managing the house. There is hardly any time set aside specifically to interact and build their friendships. In a marriage, taking care of yourself should come first, followed by taking care of your spouse. But, most people neglect themselves followed by neglecting their spouse. Couples easily forget that they have to do what got their partner and more to keep the relationship growing.
The exchange of vows is the beginning of a lifetime of service to one another as husband and wife. They are lived out in the ordinary moments, not just during that memorable wedding ceremony -kissing the forehead, sweet notes, forgiving one another, scheduling a date night, listening, and being willing to be vulnerable.
In honor of our anniversary on August 9th:
9 Ways To Honor Your Vows
- Keep a gratitude journal, and add something to it every night. Put the list under their pillow at the end of the week.
- Create a playlist of your love that you and your partner can sing along to.
- Make the house extra nice for them to come home by taking a little more time to clean it.
- When they enter the room, intentionally greet them with a hug and kiss.
- Tell them three things about their personality and looks that you like.
- Put your phones away and enjoy a tech-free evening together.
- Let them know you support a decision they made or a dream that they have.
- Take a long walk together.
- Inform them of your admiration for them and why.
