Being a single father is something that men don’t set out to be, but sometimes life makes that choice for us. Adversity will make us stronger and more resilient, help us to develop new skills and perceptions, and give us a greater appreciation for what we have. This is something I wasn’t prepared to do on my own in 2013. I experienced a plethora of unfortunate circumstances that could have derailed my mind and way of life. I battled the untimely death of my children’s mother, a grueling custody battle with her mother and a knee accident that made it extremely difficult to move around. All these events happened while I was studying to become an X-Ray technician in a very challenging program in New York.
There was no playbook for so many life altering moments. I just had to muster the strength within myself to battle through it. I didn’t really have time to process the full magnitude of my situation at that time. I now had full responsibility for three small children that needed me more than ever and I had to step up to the plate. I managed to overcome all of this with a power greater than myself.
I was able to graduate top of my class, win the custody battle, rehab my knee injury and relocate to Massachusetts to start providing and making a way for my children to have a great life. Through the support of friends and family, I was able to put my children in sports which helped them keep their minds occupied in a healthy way. Even though I had received my X-ray degree, I chose to take employment in the restaurant industry because it allowed me the greatest flexibility to be there for my children when it came to bringing them to and from school and all of their sports activities. This wasn’t the path that I initially envisioned pursuing, however it was the life that was chosen for me. I’ve learned that true sacrifice comes with great reward and being a single father has strengthened me in so many areas of my life that I would have never received had it not been for the obstacles that I had to overcome.
People always quote the saying “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. So many things seemed to be going against me during that season of my life, but through my faith and perseverance I managed to be an active role model in my children’s lives. Life is truly what we make it. I chose to live a life that was centered around building up my children and teaching them how to battle through life’s many ups and downs. I was created for this role, and there are many other fathers out there that can overcome anything when their “WHY” is their children and putting their heads down is not an option they are willing to take. Fathering is challenging no matter the circumstances, but it takes a strong and determined man to commit to raising his children on his own. We often are under-praised and overlooked, but this month, dads, know that you are loved, honored, respected, admired, and seen. The sacrifices and efforts made will soon be rewarded by the progress and success of your children.
